"Quotes"
“The people who cast the votes decide nothing. The people who count the votes decide everything.” - Joseph Stalin
“I place economy among the first and most important republican virtues, and public debt as the greatest of the dangers to be feared.” - Thomas Jefferson
“… it does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people’s minds …” - Samuel Adams
“If an apology could settle matters like this, then there’d be no need for hell!” - Skip Beat episode 3
“Get your facts first, and then you can distort ‘em as much as you please. ” - Mark Twain
Jodi Lou (whoever she is) said: I recently asked my friend’s little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, ‘If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?’
She replied, ‘I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.’
Her parents beamed.
‘Wow…what a worthy goal.’ I told her, ‘But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I’ll pay you $50.
Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.’
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, ‘Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?’
I said, ‘Welcome to the Republican Party.’
Her parents still aren’t speaking to me.
“You see, if the president of the United States condemned election fraud in Iran, much less put in a kind word for the presidential candidate who is not crazy, it would somehow crush the spirit of the protesters when they discovered, to their horror, that the Great Satan was on their side. (It also wouldn’t do much for Al Franken in Minnesota.)” - Ann Coulter
“The ironic beauty in this plan? Soon, even the most ardent liberal will understand supply-side economics.” - Sarah Palin on Cap and Trade
That would be something, wouldn’t it?
Here’s something of a historical nature that I found quite interesting.
Not Yours To Give
Col. David Crockett US Representative from Tennessee
Originally published in “The Life of Colonel David Crockett,” by Edward Sylvester Ellis.
One day in the House of Representatives a bill was taken up appropriating money for the benefit of a widow of a distinguished naval officer. Several beautiful speeches had been made in its support. The Speaker was just about to put the question when Crockett arose:
“Mr. Speaker—I have as much respect for the memory of the deceased, and as much sympathy for the sufferings of the living, if suffering there be, as any man in this House, but we must not permit our respect for the dead or our sympathy for a part of the living to lead us into an act of injustice to the balance of the living. I will not go into an argument to prove that Congress has not the power to appropriate this money as an act of charity. Every member upon this floor knows it. We have the right, as individuals, to give away as much of our own money as we please in charity; but as members of Congress we have no right so to appropriate a dollar of the public money. Some eloquent appeals have been made to us upon the ground that it is a debt due the deceased. Mr. Speaker, the deceased lived long after the close of the war; he was in office to the day of his death, and I have never heard that the government was in arrears to him.
“Every man in this House knows it is not a debt. We cannot, without the grossest corruption, appropriate this money as the payment of a debt. We have not the semblance of authority to appropriate it as charity. Mr. Speaker, I have said we have the right to give as much money of our own as we please. I am the poorest man on this floor. I cannot vote for this bill, but I will give one week’s pay to the object, and if every member of Congress will do the same, it will amount to more than the bill asks.”
He took his seat. Nobody replied. The bill was put upon its passage, and, instead of passing unanimously, as was generally supposed, and as, no doubt, it would, but for that speech, it received but few votes, and, of course, was lost.
Later, when asked by a friend why he had opposed the appropriation, Crockett gave this explanation: …
Read the whole thing here. It’s eloquent and inspiring. If only we had congress critters like that today instead of the retards we’re stuck with. Just a few would be great.
“It is a good viewpoint to see the world as a dream. When you have something like a nightmare, you will wake up and tell yourself that it was only a dream. It is said that the world we live in is not a bit different from this.’ “Even if it seems certain that you will lose, retaliate. Neither wisdom nor technique has a place in this. A real man does not think of victory or defeat. He plunges recklessly towards an irrational death. By doing this, you will awaken from your dreams.” - Yamamoto Tsunetomo
…if you survive. =0D
Nancy Pelosi: It’s not a tax increase; it’s eliminating a tax decrease that was already there.
Compare:
Lisa: I’ll have to raise taxes, but in my speech I’d like to avoid calling it a, “painful emergency tax.”
Milhouse: What about, “colossal salary grab.”
Lisa: See, that has the same problem. We need to soften the blow.
Milhouse: Well, if you just want to out-and-out lie … [Lisa doesn’t object] Okay, we could call it a, “temporary refund adjustment.”
Lisa: I love it.
Roman Polanski:
“In America, California, I lose my wife, my baby, my friends, perhaps my sanity and almost my freedom. No, I say, no! The Nazis couldn’t take it away from me, nor could the grief of my losses. And this little whore and the California laws won’t either. I have given much and they have taken too much from me.”
Apparently, this quote was printed in the New York Post on 7 February 1978, days after he fled the US. However, the most “reputable” source I can find for this is actually this pro-Polanski article on the web site of the International Communist League’s Workers Vanguard newspaper, which paints Polanski as the victim of a puritanical witch-hunt. Like all such articles in such publications, it’s long and rambling.
Ryan Sohmer: A few minutes ago, a group of four 17 year olds walked into The 4th Wall for the sole purpose of making fun of comic books, graphic novels and the people who like them. For the majority of their visit, I managed to refrain from punching any of them in the head or opening my mouth…up until this moment:
Girl 1: So, like, was this always your dream? To open up a little comic book shop for dorks?
Me: Actually, no. My dream was to become an astronaut, but that was cut short when NASA discovered my secret.
Girl 1: Your secret?
Me: Yeah, turns out I love kicking ignorant teens who condescend to others. In the throat.
Girl 1: What?
Me: You want to come in the back room for a sec?
Girl 2: We should probably get going.
I think I’ve got a grasp on this customer service thing.
“[Harry Reid] also admired Hillary for her light skin and the fact that she only uses a Negro dialect when she wants to.” - Ann Coulter
Hee hee!
Sex Quotes:
“I’m a terrible lover. I’ve actually given a woman an anti-climax.” (Scott Roeben)
“Anyone who says that gratuitous sex is no substitute for gratuitous violence obviously hasn’t had enough gratuitous sex.” (Geoff Spear)
“I love sex. It’s free and doesn’t require special shoes.” (Anonymous)
“Sexual intercourse is kicking death in the ass while singing.” (Charles Bukowski)
“Despite a lifetime of service to the cause of sexual liberation, I have never caught venereal disease, which makes me feel rather like an Arctic explorer who has never had frostbite.” (Germaine Greer)
“I think sex is better than logic, but I can’t prove it.” (Anonymous)
“For me, love is very deep, but sex only has to go a few inches.” (Stacy Nelkin)
“Housework is like bad sex. Every time I do it I swear I will never do it again. Until the next time company comes.” (Marilyn Sokol)
“During sex I fantasize that I’m someone else.” (Richard Lewis)
“There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be.” (Norman Mailer)
“The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes.” (Scott Roeben)
“It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.” (Mae West)
“There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.” (Lewis Grizzard)
“For flavour, instant sex will never supercede the stuff you have to peel and cook.” (Quentin Crisp)
“Nothing makes you forget about love like sex.” (Staci Beasley)
“I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading.” (Anonymous)
“Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.” (Kevin Costner, Tin Cup)
“I’m a great lover, I’ll bet.” (Emo Philips)
“Just saying ‘no’ prevents teenage pregnancy the way ‘Have a nice day’ cures chronic depression.” (Faye Wattleton)
“I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible.” (Leslie Nielsen)
“I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the woman if she’d brought any protection. She pulled a switchblade on me.” (Scott Roeben)
“Science is a lot like sex. Sometimes something useful comes of it, but that’s not the reason we’re doing it.” (Richard Feynman)
“Sex is identical to comedy in that it involves timing.” (Phyllis Diller)
“One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.” (Jane Austen)
“If sex doesn’t scare the cat, you’re not doing it right.” (Anonymous)
“Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.” (Garrison Keillor)
“I’ve tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.” (Tallulah Bankhead)
“The pleasure is momentary, the position is ridiculous, and the expense damnable.” (Lord Chesterfield)
“Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.” (John Barrymore)
“Is sex dirty? Only if it’s done right.” (Woody Allen)
“If your sexual fantasies were truly of of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.” (Fran Lebowitz)
“Sexual enlightenment is justified insofar as girls cannot learn too soon how children do not come into the world.” (Karl Kraus)
Things noted in my recent travels:
“In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I’ve noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the “art” of capitalization. Those of you who fall into this world, please take note of the statement below. I cannot stress enough how grammar is very important to it. “Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off his horse and helping your uncle jack off his horse.” Is everybody clear on this?” - Sum Gai
“May we have wisdom not to fear shadows in the night, and courage when the day of danger truly dawns.” - from Elizabeth: The Golden Age (2007)
“Atheism is the belief that there was nothing and nothing happened to nothing, and nothing then magically exploded for no reason, creating everything, and then a bunch of everything magically rearranged itself for no reason whatsoever into self-replicating bits, which then turned into dinosaurs.” - Diogenes Middle Finger
“Calendars were originally devised by drunk people.” - Orson Scott Card
“Never underestimate the ability of American politicians to achieve the exact opposite of what the people desire and need.” - Orson Scott Card
“[W]e now know that the number of people who will die of AIDS in the first decade of the twenty-first century will rival the number that died in all the wars in all the decades of the twentieth century.” - The Great Profit Algore
“Kinetic military action is harmful to viable post-partum tissue masses and other elements of the biosphere” - John Hayward
“The left’s idea of “science” is that we should all be riding bicycles and using the Clivus Multrum composting latrines instead of flush toilets. Anyone who dissents, they say — while adjusting their healing crystals for emphasis — is “afraid of science.” - Ann Coulter
“What at first was plunder assumed the softer name of revenue.” ~ Thomas Paine
“I tried to phone and get clarification from Steven Hawking but I kept getting his machine.”
posted by Anonymous USMC2841 : 3/9/11 7:27 PM“It is the acid test of nonviolence that in a nonviolent conflict there is no rancor left behind, and in the end the enemies are converted into friends.” — Gandhi (1869-1948)
“Government is not reason; it is not eloquence; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.” - George Washington
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